Posts tagged babymjletter
Posts tagged babymjletter
…And then there were 4!
Hi little girl!
It’s official, you are not a little baby anymore. Daily I am amazed by you. You are so loving! Constantly declaring that every person you meet is your friend. I love that you want to be friends with everybody, but I swear you are a kidnapper’s dream :)
I wanted to take some time to tell you how special you are to me, to tell you the story of our forever love. I met you on December 31st, 2011 on a cold night in Minnesota and it even snowed a little bit. I remember thinking how perfectly beautiful the night was.
I loved you way before we met though! From the moment I knew that you existed, EVERYTHING was about you. I literally have lived for you since I discovered I was carrying you. I work harder for you, I love deeper for you, I pray like I have never prayed for all things good for you.
The first time I held you in my arms, I cried the ugliest cry ever. It was loud, emotional and mama could barely breathe…I was overwhelmed by you. That you had come from me, that you would love me instantly and that I would get the chance to love you just the same.
Sometimes, out of nowhere, I still cry the ugly cry for you. I had no idea that I could love you more than I loved you that night, but every day, somehow, I love you even more!
It’s been me and you and daddy for almost three years and it has truly been special. you have taught us so much and we are so proud to be your parents.
There is nothing that your deep little voice, or your kisses and hugs can’t fix in our world. Your little spirit is so bright and you radiate so much love, we are forever grateful to God for picking us for you and you for us…
Things are changing around here. It won’t just be the three of us anymore. Our little family is growing and we will no longer be a trio. Can I be honest? It’s scary, but it’s also exciting.
It’s been just you for so long and I am sure that it will be hard to adjust to, but just think…All of this love mommy and daddy have for you, how cool will it be to share that with your sister? How amazing will it be to always have someone in your corner who is not mommy or daddy?!
Just as I loved you instantly, I love your sister already too, but something awesome happened…I became so excited for you to meet her. I think about you having a best friend for life, I think about you being able to tell her secrets that you might not tell us…and I’m ok with that.
I think about this crazy world and how I would never want you to have to navigate alone. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO! You will always have me. You will always have daddy…and you will always have your sister!
I need you to know that even though you are getting a sister, we will always have a special relationship, I don’t have to take any of the love I have for you away from you to give to your sister. Mommy and Daddys are magic. We can keep producing love without taking it away!
I have a favor to ask you. Will you help us? When we can’t take care of your baby sister, will you always look out for her? That’s what big sisters do and I think you will be the best big sister ever.
Will you protect her and love her so much? It would really mean a lot to mommy and daddy. We are all kind of in this together. The 4 of us, always looking out for each other.
We love hard in this family. I love you and Daddy so much sometimes it hurts. I love your little sister that much already…
You were my first real unconditional love, and you will always be…never forget that…
But thank you for sharing me…and thank you for being excited for this next adventure!
A Little Note From Daddy:
Hey baby girl,
I wanna start off by saying how much I love every bit of everything about you. I never truly knew the meaning of unconditional love till you came into my life. Even in the times u do things u know u shouldn’t the one thing that remains the same is the love I have for you. I am doing my best to make sure that daddy is someone you’re proud of, someone u can look up to, u can aspire to be like. I want to make sure u never have to ask for anything, make sure u know that all your dreams can come true with some hard work. You’re a very special little girl and will always be. I want u to know that no matter what happens whatever it may be, u can ALWAYS count on daddy. There’s nothing u can’t bring to me, nothing we can’t fix, nothing that will be too big of a problem I can’t help u with. With all of me, I want you to know that I truly, deeply, sincerely, love u! All of you!!
Here we go big girl! She’s coming, and just like we did…I KNOW she will love you instantly and you might not even realize it yet, but you definitely love her already too!
You will be the BEST big sister Ever!
Dear Baby MJ,
Hi baby girl, it has been awhile since I have taken the time to write to you. Though I could write about your amazingness daily, unfortunately life often gets in the way. We are creeping up on your second birthday and it is forcing me to reflect a lot.
I 100 % can say that for over a year I truly believed that being a mom would never stress me ( Go ahead and laugh) but you were such an easy baby and I literally never had one of those moments where I wanted to give you back LOL.
I would see facebook updates from fellow parents talking about needing a break, having it rough, and how hard being a parent is. I didn’t really understand it because I had never experienced the frustration that inevitably creeps up on every parent.
You became Houdini and managed to silently get out of your crib
You pooped in the tub
you stopped sleeping through the night and decided that if you didn’t sleep, no one slept
You learned how to take off your diaper and run around naked
You decided to risk your life at every turn-leaping, jumping, throwing yourself around, climbing, falling, hanging.
You lost your damn mind in Target when you were only allowed to pick out one toy. Rolling around, screaming at the top of your lungs like the world was ending.
You learned to open the fridge
You learned the word NO
You realized that Daddy will say yes when mommy says no
You became the best hide and go seek player of all time and scared the hell out of me!
OH, so this is the frustration my fellow parents speak of LOL. Now I get it. This being a mom thing is tough work baby girl. You are amazing in every way, but you need a track bracelet and a padded room because I swear it is your goal to get lost or injured.
I am learning to be patient as we go through these struggles together, but I want you to know that no matter how frustrated I get (nobody wants to clean poop out of the tub) I still love you with my whole heart.
There will be many times in life that I may lose my patience and become frustrated with you, I may need to go for a drive, take some time to myself, run far far away, but never for a second doubt that I would change this situation! You are my greatest gift and achievement and I am thankful that I get to be your momma, I love you to the moon and back…
I am sure there will be times when you too are frustrated with me, but I want you to be fully aware that I will always remind you that I love you so much I cleaned your poop out of the tub :)
Dear baby girl,
Today I watched you as you played in baby jail (your crib) and you were so content. I stood a few feet away not wanting to interrupt your play time and I had the biggest smile on my face. You were just baby-talking away and laughing…a little world all your own, so precious.
I didn’t have as long as I wanted to watch you giggling away to yourself, but it was long enough for my heart to break a little. Right now your little world probably seems euphoric. You have Mommy and Daddy who play with you and love you up and you are always happy. I dread the day you are introduced to the heartbreak of the real world.
someday you will learn things that your precious little mind probably won’t be able to comprehend. You will be taught about many tragedies including Columbine, 9/11, and Newtown Connecticut and you will ask me questions…I fear this hypothetical moment more than you could possibly imagine.
How will I tell you that I still remember exactly where I was and how I felt on those days? How do I tell you to not be afraid? How do I not protect you from such horror stories? How do I tell you about the innocent babies?
The truth is, baby girl, I will have to tell you the truth and for many reasons. I will tell you the truth because you will trust me…and I will help you through it. I will tell you the truth because those sweet babies deserve to be remembered and I will tell you the truth because unfortunately this is the truth.
This world is not perfect, I know you see that. I know that you can’t imagine how people could treat each other so terribly…I know you will feel disappointed in your world, in the people of the world. You will doubt, you will cry, you will be furious. You will lose peace of mind. It hurts my heart just thinking about it…but baby girl, NEVER LOSE HOPE.
In those terrible moments that test your faith please remember the good in people. Remember the random acts of kindness. Remember the people who stood up for the less fortunate. Remember those that died to protect another. Remember NOH8, remember the people who were not afraid to speak up for what is right regardless of the cost…
and if none of that calms your heavy heart, remember me. Find solace in knowing that no matter what the world threw at mommy…she NEVER lost hope! Do I feel helpless sometimes? Absolutely, but mommy is NEVER hopeless.
How can I be hopeless when God gave me you? You baby girl are hope! My sweet, talking to herself, shouting Dada, refusing to say Mama, beautiful, little hope!
I love you!
Hi Baby Girl!
WOW! Today you are eight months old and a whole lot of personality. I love you unlike any other love I have ever experienced and I appreciate what your presence has given me-GROWTH.
I want you to know that you are such a happy baby. You rarely cry or fuss! You absolutely LOVE your daddy and FINALLY you and Callie cat seem to really love each other.
The last eight months have flown by. You were this tiny little baby and now you are soooo big and your own person for sure. You love music, you love when your daddy throws you up into the air and you cannot get enough of your Baby Einsteins and Mickey Mouse Club.
Everyone who meets you comments on how well behaved you are! We are very blessed to have you as ours.
I love your giggle and smile and how you love cuddling with me. I want nothing but the best for you and I NEVER make a decision without your well being at the forefront of my mind.
Thank you for being so awesomely you! You’re a mover and a shaker (just like your momma), and you have no interest in crawling but try so hard to walk.
Take your time baby, you are growing so fast and this world has a way of forcing people to grow up far sooner than they should.
I love every part of you and I cannot wait for what the future holds for you! Keep that smile baby! The world can be tough, but you are stronger and you will make it through whatever this world throws at you.
It’s in your blood to be a survivor! It’s in your blood to work hard! and you will ALWAYS feel loved! This I promise you!
Happy eight months baby girl!
Dear Baby Girl,
I confess, I have never really been a believer in love at first sight, but that was before I was a mother, that was before I met you.
I want you to know that you literally took my breath away. I could barely breathe as they laid you on my chest and I had a good cry.
One of those cries where you can barely catch your breath and you are on the verge of hyperventilating. I could not control the emotions that I felt. Love for you exploded in my heart and filled my entire body.
I loved you before I knew you…As you were growing inside of me I knew we would always be bonded, but the moment I held you…it was hard to imagine how I had ever lived without you, how I now never could.
I feel complete now. I am in love with your daddy and he is in love with me…and the both of us couldn’t love anyone else as much as we love you.
I can’t help but stare at you. You are so perfect to me. Handcrafted by God himself and kissed by the angels.
My beautiful sweet baby girl I will go to the ends of the earth for you. You are my everything.
I promise you I will always love your daddy…I will keep him a priority so that you always know what it means to really love, so that we always set an example for you.
I will continue to better myself for you.
Most importantly though, I will always hold you safely in my arms and when you are too big…I will continue to always hold you…just in my heart!
I love you
Dear Baby Girl,
I know that you are coming so soon and I have to admit…it kind of scares me. There are so many things that I am feeling, it’s hard to even put it all into words.
This entire experience has honestly been the best of my life. I have truly enjoyed every moment of growing you. Even now at my most uncomfortable and my biggest. Even with the unbelievable pain I feel from my hips spreading, the carpal tunnel in my hands and of course the exhaustion…It has ALL been amazing.
Feeling you move is incredible. In the beginning it was so subtle, now you are big and strong and every time you move it literally takes my breath away…but I have a feeling you will always do that to me…take my breath away.
I am in love with you in a way I have never before experienced. I have changed for you, I have grown to become the person that I know you need me to be and I will not let you down.
I would like to thank you for being my reason, my why! For the rest of my life you will always be that to me. I will work hard for you, I will not give up because of you and I will love you and your daddy and protect my family always.
I cannot even tell you how amazing it feels to have YOU as my reason. I know you daddy feels the exact same way.
I don’t have all the answers, and I never will, but I do know that this is what I was supposed to do, to be…your mom and your daddy’s wife.
I know that I will always love you. I know that I am scared to meet you because if I love you this much already, I can’t even imagine how much more I will love you when I actually see you for the first time.
I pray that you always know that I am here for you! I pray that you continue to grow strong and healthy.
Mostly I pray that you live your life with integrity and on your terms. You, little girl will impact the world…I feel it.
Until we meet, I’ll carry you safely in my tummy, but I cannot wait to carry you in my arms.
I love you
This was me before…
This is me now…
Dear Baby girl,
I have spent so much time writing to you about how much I love you, we love you, that I haven’t really stopped to think about what I am going through for you or how your Daddy is holding up.
This process is so amazing, so foreign, so natural, it is so many things that often I cannot find the words to express how I feel.
Daily I am in awe of my ever changing body. I don’t really recognize myself anymore. Instead of picking and poking, when I look into the mirror I see someone I am so proud of.
I am in love with my belly. The way it changes from week to week is amazing. I find myself more beautiful now than I ever have.
My body hurts, it is hard to get off of the couch and I have horrible hip pain, but I soldier on.
I really enjoy just being at home, laying on the couch and relaxing. Growing you is pretty hard work and I get really tired.
I FORGET EVERYTHING. I read that it is normal, but it is beyond frustrating to know I have something important to say but not have a clue what it is. This happens all day long.
I walk a lot, it helps the pain and it is a great time to reflect. Reflection is something that just comes with pregnancy. All I do is think, and it’s not all good. Growing you also means I worry about you all the time.
Your Daddy has become my greatest ally. We are a united front in this process. He too is working so hard preparing for you. He tries his best to help me through the pain, and just like me…he worries too.
He’s ridiculously over protective and according to him, “when it comes to her, everybody is the enemy. I don’t trust anyone with our baby.” I laugh because I feel the same way.
He once told me to be careful because I was carrying precious cargo. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
The pain, the emotions, the fears, I welcome with open arms because I am carrying precious cargo. At the end of this journey I will have you, and it will have all been worth it.
I am changing daily, I get a little more round, retain a littler more water but mostly my heart surprises me by not exploding because it is constantly overloaded with the love I have for you and your Daddy.
Preparing to be your mom is the greatest challenge I have ever taken on, and I will succeed!
I love you!
Dear Baby Girl,
There are some people who always know that they want to have kids, others aren’t so sure and some know that children is just something not for them.
Mommy always knew that she wanted to be a mother. It was something that just seemed so natural to me. I dreamed of molding kids into good people. I looked forward to it, I wanted it badly.
In my mind I had it all planned out, when I would get married, when I would start a family…I learned quickly that things don’t always turn out the way that we imagine.
Thank God they didn’t. My plans were wrong. Things happened exactly the way they were supposed to.
Although I wanted you for sooooo long, I wasn’t always ready for you. I needed to grow, learn to compromise, to let go, I needed to change.
Wanting something and deserving them are two totally different things and although I wanted you like crazy, I didn’t always deserve you.
I had to learn to not be selfish, to give more than I take, to be the best me. Your daddy was an amazing teacher. He brought out of me- the best of me.
When we decided to spend the rest of our lives together we also decided that we wanted to start a family right away. While this shocked many, it was our choice and we knew for us, it was the right decision.
We were ready for you, we had so much love between the two of us and we wanted to share it with you and finally… I deserved you!
Now that you are growing inside of me and I feel you all the time, I realize that although I am the best me that I have ever been and even though you were completely planned…nobody is ever really ready for this.
How could I be ready for all this love to explode in my heart? How could I have been prepared for how much I would care, think about you, and love you before you even got here?
How could anyone be ready for this magical-scary journey? The truth is, you can’t be…but that’s the beauty of it.
So no, maybe I am not exactly ready, but I am in love! In love with you, the idea of you, the feeling of you in my tummy, the thoughts and daydreams of you, the fact that you are already Daddy’s little princess.
I anticipate your first day of school, the day you meet someone who is lucky enough to be your best friend, prom, sending you off to college, your wedding day!
I yearn for you in my arms, to see your face, hear you breathe, to love you.
No, I am not ready! I am so much more than ready! I can’t wait to give in and just LOVE! Love you with everything that I am and ever will be!
I love you!
”I just wanted to tell you I think your energy has changed and pregnancy agrees with you.”
Dear Baby Girl,
Today someone wrote to me and told me that they thought I have changed. It was kind of shocking to hear someone else say it despite feeling that way myself.
When you tell people you are pregnant they usually say dramatically “your whole life is going to change,” and they usually don’t say it in a positive way and it’s kind of scary actually.
What they fail to do is finish the sentence!
Yes my life is changing! Since the moment I discovered you were growing inside of me things have been changing rapidly, but it’s amazing.
So the next time someone says to me “your whole life is going to change,” I will choose to finish the sentence for them…
You’re so right, I am going to- love harder, find meaning easier, have a reason to work harder than I ever have, be excited, get rid of people who don’t deserve to know this little person, be filled with anticipation, see beauty in things everywhere, see myself differently, love my husband even more than I already did, strengthen my relationship with God and thank him for giving me such a gift, feel blessed, cry tears of joy more times than I can count, gain a sense of calm, and love every moment of it.
Yes, my life is going to change, I am going to change! I am going to be a mother, YOUR mother, and that baby girl is amazing!
I can’t wait for the day that I can tell another woman her whole life is going to change, only when I say it…It will be with a huge smile on my face and in celebration because I will understand that what she is doing is amazing!
I love you!
Dear Baby Girl,
Lately I have been really feeling you. You like to move a lot in the morning and evening. I love you more and more each day.
You have given me new insight to life. I think about the life that you deserve and how me and your Daddy will do everything in our power to make sure it happens.
I attended this Ladies who Lead event and was inspired by a woman who explained that she finds balance in her life by having an imaginary picket fence around her life. She is in charge of the gate door and she lets only those she wants in.
Occasionally she explained that she also had to escort some people out. I listened and realized exactly what I needed to do.
Mommy is building a pink picket fence around our life just for you. Inside will be me, Daddy, you and Callie. I will only allow those in who deserve it, and if at any time someone no longer belongs…I will happily escort them out.
I know that people and things may try to jump over our pink picket fence but Mommy and Daddy will be there with reinforcements…and if we have to get a dog we will :)
I will also tell you that I will also pay close attention to the people you let inside our pink picket fence, and I am positive that Daddy will be worse than me, but if they deserve to come in we will gladly let them.
Little girl, I love you. I will spend the rest of my life providing for you and protecting you and one day, I will help you build a pink picket fence around your family.
I hope you always know that it is safe here, that there is love and acceptance here and I can’t wait for the day that I am blessed enough to witness you toss someone over the fence who doesn’t belong.
I love you!