Mommy Letters to Baby!

I loved you before I knew you!

Posts tagged mommyhood

12 notes &

Dear Baby Girl!

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Hi sweet baby girl! We are anxiously awaiting your arrival. It’s so strange playing the wait game. I know this may sound crazy, but the longer you are in there, the more scary things seem. 

I want you in my arms, I want to look into your face, feel your breath, I want our worlds to finally collide! 

You are clearly on your own time lol. Momma and auntie Bear have attempted every so-called home remedy to naturally induce labor and you, my child, are not having any part of it.

So before I get the amazing pleasure of meeting you face-to-face, I wanted to take the time to tell you of our love story. 

We spent Christmas of 2013 back at momma’s second home, Daddy’s first,  in St. Lucia. It was there that Daddy and I knew we wanted you. We spoke you into existence. You were thought about, wished for and planned. 

I still remember the moment I found out I was carrying you, I remember the shock, the excitement, the happiness. I remember the love. 

Instantly I fell in love with you. Before I ever laid eyes on you, before I ever even heard your heartbeat, I loved you completely. 

I will ALWAYS love you completely. I will always see you, I will always hear you, and it will ALWAYS mean something to me. 

This world can be a big scary place, often hard to navigate. Lucky for you you were blessed with a daddy who has the patience of a saint and a mommy who is never afraid to speak up for what is right. I hope like hell you inherit my spirit, and daddy’s logic. 

Last night I was so excited. My contractions picked up and we headed to the hospital, even our midwife thought you would be making your appearance. I walked like crazy all the while telling you how much I wanted to meet you, but snuggled inside of me, so close to my heart, seems to be your comfort zone right now. 

I love you little girl so very much, but I will continue to wait until you are ready. Just know that Mommy, Daddy and big sister MJ couldn’t be more excited to bring you home and love you up. 

Life’s only real requirement, baby girl, is that you breathe. So just breathe baby girl…and breathe easy! The rest you will learn, you will be taught, you will be amazing. 

I wish for you so much laughter. Those kind of laughs that make you scream at the same time and lead to tears flowing. 

I dream for you a spirit of integrity, a fighter’s spirit. 

I hope for you life lessons that never break you but serve to help you grow and become better. 

I pray for you everyday, for your happiness and your health.

I want for you love on every level, the obvious unconditional love from me and daddy, a sisterly love with MJ, a soul-mate love like I have with Auntie Bear and even the scream it from the mountain top type of love that Mommy has for Daddy.  

I need for you to recognize your self worth, to understand the impact that you can make on people and the world. It’s a choice little girl. You can be someone who is content with just going a long for the ride, or you can be the master of your own fate -staying attentive to the journey and actively participating. 

I’d love for people to always treat you amazing, I am terrified of the thought of seeing you hurt or sad. Inevitably it will happen though, please don’t let people steal your sunshine. Understand that YOU decide what can and can’t affect you. 

Yes, even when people try to break your spirit, keep on loving, keep on caring, just keep on and remember that what you put out, is always going to come back. 

So put out positivity, put out love, put out intelligence, put out handwork and dedication, put out faith and hope.

Sometimes the world and people will seem overbearing. In those moments I hope you take the time to sit in silence and just let life speak to you. Listen to your heart, your mind. Now I will be perfectly honest and tell you that sometimes there is a disconnect between what the heart feels and what the mind thinks, but always trust your gut. Listen to your intuition it will NEVER lead you astray. 

I want you to know that you are pre approved! We are waiting for you, ready to love you, naturally we are already in love with every thing that you are.  

So as you continue to take your time. Sweet girl just know that I’m on the other side waiting. Ready to be for you whatever you need of me. Daddy is here too! He can’t wait to hold you close and make you laugh. Big sister MJ  talks about you daily. She spends so much time rubbing and kissing my belly, she can’t wait to make you her best friend for life. 

Take your time baby girl, but we are more than ready for you. The world is ready for you! You may not know it yet, it may take you a very long time to comprehend it, but I will always be here to remind you that you my child will change the world! 

I love you!

-Mom

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28 notes &

…And then there were 4!

Hi little girl! 

It’s official, you are not a little baby anymore. Daily I am amazed by you. You are so loving! Constantly declaring that every person you meet is your friend. I love that you want to be friends with everybody, but I swear you are a kidnapper’s dream :)

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I wanted to take some time to tell you how special you are to me, to tell you the story of our forever love. I met you on December 31st, 2011 on a cold night in Minnesota and it even snowed a little bit. I remember thinking how perfectly beautiful the night was. 

I loved you way before we met though! From the moment I knew that you existed, EVERYTHING was about you. I literally have lived for you since I discovered I was carrying you. I work harder for you, I love deeper for you, I pray like I have never prayed for all things good for you. 

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The first time I held you in my arms, I cried the ugliest cry ever. It was loud, emotional and mama could barely breathe…I was overwhelmed by you. That you had come from me, that you would love me instantly and that I would get the chance to love you just the same. 

Sometimes, out of nowhere, I still cry the ugly cry for you. I had no idea that I could love you more than I loved you that night, but every day, somehow, I love you even more! 

It’s been me and you and daddy for almost three years and it has truly been special. you have taught us so much and we are so proud to be your parents. 

There is nothing that your deep little voice, or your kisses and hugs can’t fix in our world. Your little spirit is so bright and you radiate so much love, we are forever grateful to God for picking us for you and you for us…

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Things are changing around here. It won’t just be the three of us anymore. Our little family is growing and we will no longer be a trio. Can I be honest? It’s scary, but it’s also exciting. 

It’s been just you for so long and I am sure that it will be hard to adjust to, but just think…All of this love mommy and daddy have for you, how cool will it be to share that with your sister? How amazing will it be to always have someone in your corner who is not mommy or daddy?! 

Just as I loved you instantly, I love your sister already too, but something awesome happened…I became so excited for you to meet her. I think about you having a best friend for life, I think about you being able to tell her secrets that you might not tell us…and I’m ok with that. 

I think about this crazy world and how I would never want you to have to navigate alone. YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO! You will always have me. You will always have daddy…and you will always have your sister!

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I need you to know that even though you are getting a sister, we will always have a special relationship, I don’t have to take any of the love I have for you away from you to give to your sister. Mommy and Daddys are magic. We can keep producing love without taking it away! 

I have a favor to ask you. Will you help us? When we can’t take care of your baby sister, will you always look out for her? That’s what big sisters do and I think you will be the best big sister ever. 

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Will you protect her and love her so much? It would really mean a lot to mommy and daddy. We are all kind of in this together. The 4 of us, always looking out for each other.

We love hard in this family. I love you and Daddy so much sometimes it hurts. I love your little sister that much already…

You were my first real unconditional love, and you will always be…never forget that…

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But thank you for sharing me…and thank you for being excited for this next adventure!

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A Little Note From Daddy: 

Hey baby girl, 

I wanna start off by saying how much I love every bit of everything about you. I never truly knew the meaning of unconditional love till you came into my life. Even in the times u do things u know u shouldn’t the one thing that remains the same is the love I have for you. I am doing my best to make sure that daddy is someone you’re proud of, someone u can look up to, u can aspire to be like. I want to make sure u never have to ask for anything, make sure u know that all your dreams can come true with some hard work. You’re a very special little girl and will always be. I want u to know that no matter what happens whatever it may be, u can ALWAYS count on daddy. There’s nothing u can’t bring to me, nothing we can’t fix, nothing that will be too big of a problem I can’t help u with. With all of me, I want you to know that I truly, deeply, sincerely, love u! All of you!!
~ Daddy

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Here we go big girl! She’s coming, and just like we did…I KNOW she will love you instantly and you might not even realize it yet, but you definitely love her already too!

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You will be the BEST big sister Ever!image

Love, 

-Mom

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Putting It All Into Perspective!

You know those moments that put things into perspective?  Things seems so out of whack, and then bam that moment happens and FINALLY some clarity! That moment was captured in this picture.

Life is not ideal right now.  I do not have a job and the job hunt is much more exhausting than I could have ever imagined.  My baby girl is popping out teeth left and right and she is in so much pain, breaks my heart.  Slimmy has extra stress because, well I am ALWAYS around now and he rarely gets a break from his lady loves-and again I don’t have a job so I am sure that weighs on him as well.

This transition has been interesting, never easy, but always rewarding. Marriage is tough in itself, but a new marriage and a baby right away can make things so beyond chaotic.  We are doing it though, and doing it well too!

Some days I am frustrated with my marriage. We are not always on the same page or in sync and the lack of sleep from being new parents has us pitted against each other at times. 

Some days I am frustrated with myself. I want to be a better wife and mother, I don’t have it all figured out yet. It’s an awful place to want to do more for your family, but your too exhausted to put your thoughts into actions.

Some days being a mom is heartbreaking.  When you are blessed with a kid who literally only cries when she is hungry or needs to be changed, when she cries because she is in pain-it is almost unbearable.

I think a lot, I worry more, I am fully aware of this, but every now and then one of those moments that I was talking about happens and suddenly you can let out a sigh of relief.

When my friend Rebeccah sent over this teaser shot from our family photo shoot, she probably had no idea she was also giving me peace of mind. Despite the fact that my world is in chaos, that shot of my beautiful daughter and husband stopped my whole world and forced me to be thankful.

Thankful that I get to see them smile everyday, thankful that both of their smiles are contagious, so no matter what I am smiling a lot as well. Thankful that me and Slimmy, regardless of issues, stay united as a team and committed to each other and talk often about adding to our family.

Thankful for the past, and the present and extremely hopeful for the future. We are not perfect by any means but imperfectly perfect looks good on us!

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Dear Baby MJ! You Are Such an Awesome Baby

Hi Baby Girl!

WOW! Today you are eight months old and a whole lot of personality. I love you unlike any other love I have ever experienced and I appreciate what your presence has given me-GROWTH.

I want you to know that you are such a happy baby. You rarely cry or fuss! You absolutely LOVE your daddy and FINALLY you and Callie cat seem to really love each other.

The last eight months have flown by. You were this tiny little baby and now you are soooo big and your own person for sure. You love music, you love when your daddy throws you up into the air and you cannot get enough of your Baby Einsteins and Mickey Mouse Club.

Everyone who meets you comments on how well behaved you are! We are very blessed to have you as ours.

I love your giggle and smile and how you love cuddling with me. I want nothing but the best for you and I NEVER make a decision without your well being at the forefront of my mind.

Thank you for being so awesomely you! You’re a mover and a shaker (just like your momma), and you have no interest in crawling but try so hard to walk.

Take your time baby, you are growing so fast and this world has a way of forcing people to grow up far sooner than they should.

I love every part of you and I cannot wait for what the future holds for you! Keep that smile baby! The world can be tough, but you are stronger and you will make it through whatever this world throws at you.

It’s in your blood to be a survivor! It’s in your blood to work hard! and you will ALWAYS feel loved! This I promise you!

Happy eight months baby girl!

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Traveling Baby

Baby girl was 3 months old when she hopped on her first flight. I wasn’t off of maternity leave yet but agreed to go cover the top ten finalists of American Idol-working momma for sure. With breastfeeding and her being so young, I thought it would be best to just bring her with.

She is now a world traveler. At only 7 and a half months, she has been to Chicago, New York, Los Angeles on two separate occasions, and to her other home Saint Lucia (The Motherland) twice as well.

I remember the concerned and often judgemental looks I received when people saw me board the plane with a then 3 month old baby. But from day one she has come through like a champ.

I was nervous at first. I didn’t know how she would do, but she’s a happy kid and if she’s not sleeping, she’s playing peek-a-boo with other passengers. I had a lot of people ask me how she would do, looking at her like she was some loose cannon ready to go off at any moment lol. I simply replied, well she hasn’t let me down yet.

She really hasn’t, after our latest trip to The Motherland, I had many passengers tell me that she was the best baby they had ever encountered on a plane. Now I have to give myself some credit as a mommy. Baby girl is teething right now so I assumed the worst. I was worried about her ears, her teeth…I did not want her uncomfortable. I stocked up on baby teethers, baby motrin and I stuck a boob in her mouth on take off and touch down and we soared through with no issues.

I am a working momma and more importantly half of her family lives in a different country. There never really was an option for me, it has been my job since the day she was born to show her the world…it just so happens that in her world there will be many layovers and plane rides included.

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