Posts tagged mommyhood
Posts tagged mommyhood
I have raised a baby girl for seven months and honestly, I have very little to complain about-she is happy all the time! The only time she cries is when she needs to be fed or changed and she gets a little fussy now that she’s teething- but that’s to be expected.
Although this may seem ideal, there is a downfall to having an immensely happy child-when they cry, it sets you into panic mode because you really aren’t used to it.
Tonight I had to suck it up and let baby MJ cry. I didn’t want to, but I had to. She isn’t sleeping through the night and I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that me and Slimmy have been suckers and have let her take over our bed and I continue to feed her when she wakes up through the night.
After numerous conversations, a whole lot of googling and research, I finally made the decision to let her cry it out. Easier said than done for sure. We are trying to get a routine together, we are failing miserably. The kid does not want to go to bed anywhere near early-night owl like her daddy.
So today she didn’t really nap that much at all so I was very hopeful, but 7pm rolled around and she wasn’t tired at all. I fed her, laid her down, played lullaby music-NOTHING. For a little bit she seemed content just laying there, and then all hell broke loose.
She screamed bloody murder, I repeatedly told myself she’s ok. Her diaper is clean, she is not hungry, she just wants to cuddle, stay strong. For someone so little man can she really wail. I questioned everything. Is this ok? Am I doing the right thing? Will she hate me tomorrow?
I held out though, a few tears of my own shed, and suddenly the room was silent. She’s sleep, IN HER OWN BED! I am not gonna lie, I feel like I should check her every 5 minutes. I am not even sure I will be able to fall asleep now and let me tell you this baby monitor is up so loud, but mission accomplished.
Now what?! Do we do this every night? Do I have to let her cry in order for her to fall asleep and stay sleep? What happens when she wakes up tonight? Do I get her, let her cry again? I am not sure I can do that.
HELP?! I should be enjoying this grown up time now that baby girl is knocked out, instead I am questioning tonights turn of events and my parenting techniques. I will have to just breathe it out. It’s only day one, God I hope it gets easier, until it does though-I will keep my ear glued to this baby monitor.
When you have a child, you should understand the opportunity that you hold in your hands!
I have never really considered myself a judgemental person. Honestly what others choose to do has no affect on how I live my life so why should anyone’s choices be of concern to me…and then I had a baby.
I am fully aware that I will not do everything right as a parent. I am a firm believer in trial and error and let me tell you that that can lead to some interesting situations, but lately I have witnessed some huge parenting flaws and if it makes me judgemental for pointing them out, than so be it.
How on earth are you as a parent, driving around on a highway with your baby bouncing around in the back. What logical reason is your child not strapped into a car seat? What if the unthinkable happens and your child becomes a projectile object?
Why exactly is your baby, who can’t even be one yet, eating chips and drinking pop? Now I am no doctor, but I can tell you that this is not ok and quite detrimental to the health of your child.
Where are you at?!?! How is it that I stumbled into your 3 year old daughter sitting halfway off the curb and halfway into the street? We had a ten minute conversation. I learned her name, how old she was, and where she lived. What I never learned was where you were. It really should be easy to figure out how this situation could have gone terribly wrong. She could have been hit by a car, I could have been a kidnapper or pedophile…the possibilities are endless.
Why do you look fresh to death and your child looks as if he/she hasn’t been bathed for days? Looking good is awesome, who doesn’t want to be attractive and feel good? But if wearing name brand clothes and getting your nails and hair done, or buying that new pair of shoes means that baby girl will be neglected, maybe you need to make better choices. No it is not ok to let her wear the same dirty sponge bob t-shirt for 3 days and leave her hair looking like a comb hasn’t touched it in a month. You are failing big time.
I’m sorry, but with all this open space, why is it that you must smoke with your kids in your car and even worse with the windows up?! By all means smoke! Smoke until your lungs turn black, that is your choice and do what makes you happy, but how dare you do that to your baby?! When your child winds up with asthma or some other horrible breathing disorder, yes you will be to blame, simple!
Every parent is allowed to get frustrated, the job is not easy and kids will test you, but screaming at your child, calling your child names and telling your child they are worthless, only makes you look terrible. I can only imagine what goes on at home, if this happens in public.
I am not going to do everything right, I am fully aware of it, but I am certainly ALWAYS keeping her best interest at heart. I have accepted that I will make mistakes. I am learning daily, but sometimes I look around at my fellow parents and I am blown away that everyone is allowed to procreate.
Children will rise to expectations, but they will also fall to expectations, so why on earth are you not raising the bar?
I have been a mom for six months now, wow does time fly! Over the past six months, I have learned a lot about myself and life in general. I am positive that parenting is different for everyone, but I have gained some personal knowledge and I think I am coming into my parenting style quite nicely.
The past six months have taught me…
Once I had this tiny little baby. She’s not so tiny anymore, it’s pretty incredible how much they change! Love you sweet girl
I think it’s official…She get it from her momma :)
I am in love with this little human! Simply and truly in love! Yes I think I have the most beautiful baby in the world because EVERY parent has the right to! She makes me laugh! After a hard day at work, or stressful encounter…pretty much anytime, her smile literally lights up my world and melts my heart! I am so glad God gave her to me! YEP, I MADE THAT!!!!!
If sexy is a state of mind, then I definitely don’t have a grasp on my sexy mind frame yet. One would think I would give myself some slack considering four months ago, I gave birth to a human being that I grew.
Do you know what growing a human being entails?! Swollen ankles, vomiting, body parts stretching to an unimaginable degree, carpal tunnel syndrome, pretty much all things NOT sexy.
I have this idea of what I am supposed to look and feel like, I don’t look or feel like any of that.
Yes, I would like to wear heels on a regular basis, because that is sexy, but unfortunately my feet are no longer a size 7 and I can barely squeeze my feet into the shoes I own.
I’ve these amazing new boobs, but they are so much bigger than the old set so instead of wanting to flaunt them like crazy, I am always on a mission to make sure they are covered up or at least not hanging out.
Not to mention the amount of pressure I feel in my back as a result of my new assets. OH and did I mention, they no longer belong to me, they belong to baby MJ and…SOMETIMES they leak, I know, NOT SEXY!
I’m cheap and have high hopes so I refuse to buy clothes that fit this body which means I am stuck wearing clothes that are either too big, or a little too small…NOT sexy!
Bringing Sexy back after baby is not easy. I’m exhausted constantly so working out doesn’t even seem like a smart idea not to mention there isn’t enough time in my day. Between work, baby and the mandatory nap I now take to keep me sane, working out seems like a far off dream.
The truth of the matter is I don’t want to get back to exactly where I was, I am kind of digging my new momma curves, but everything definitely needs to be tightened up-mostly I just want to feel better.
All I know is, Sexy will come eventually, but I have to put in the work…I refuse to have a 5 year old, still trying to use the excuse that I just had a baby LOL.
I am back at work, I am in 4 weddings, I’ve had 3 family members die in the past month, I am fighting off postpartum depression setbacks, and on top of that I still have to be a mom and a wife.
Yes this is what my current plate looks like.
No it is not easy and quite honestly I think it is wearing on me physically and emotionally. I am exhausted, I lost my voice for a week and I am all cried out.
Parenthood is a balancing act! The good news is, that I realize it is a balancing act, the bad news is I have yet to discover how to do that.
Finding time is my goal. Enough time for Baby MJ, enough time For Slimmy…and enough time for me!
and here is what I discovered…I have got to start saying NO! I have no time because I never tell anybody no. I go to events when I am sick, I give rides when I am exhausted. It’s a horrible habit. I am the Queen of saying yes to things despite the fact that I know I simply cannot do it.
So I am officially adding to my vocabulary the TRUTH! No, no I can’t. I’m sorry I am busy, I’m sorry but I just want to hang with my family today, No! I am exhausted, I have a baby. I don’t have time, Sorry but I can’t. No! No! No!
I have to take care of number 1 or I won’t be able to take care of my family and I have not been doing a very good job of that.
Today I am putting me first, because when I am sick, sad, exhausted, when I am not myself…my household does not function as smoothly as I need it to.
SO I love you, but NO I can’t for awhile!
I’ve given you a present, and I am begging you to handle it with care. It means the world to me and I am trusting you with it.
I am nervous, I don’t know if you can handle such a precious gift, but I need you to understand the importance of doing it right.
She is innocent, she is learning every day, and she will soak up everything around her, what will you teach her?!
Will you teach her love and acceptance? That you are her playground? That her opportunities are endless? or will you show her a darker side? Will you teach her to hate, will you suck the potential out of her?
You see world, I have always been a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child, but lately your village has led me to question that mentality.
World, I promise to do my part because I know that her becoming a good person begins on the home front, that it starts with me and her dad, but we can’t do it all. She will spend just as much time with you as she does with us.
So basically World…take care of my baby, because if you don’t I’m gonna have to kick your ass.
Sincerely MJ’s momma
Having a baby made me appreciate life on an entirely new level. Growing life, creating life…I guess it makes sense that that would happen. What I was not expecting was how hard death would hit me after having a baby.
My grandpa has been hanging on to life for awhile now, when I think of that, in regards to MJ, it is almost unbearable. Here is a man I love so dearly, I respect to no end, and he will most certainly not be around to watch her grow up. It hurts my heart and then reminds me of the task at hand…to NEVER let her not know who he was, and to try my hardest to explain how wonderful her great grandmother was even though she will never meet her.
The last week has been tough, In a 24 hour period, my auntie lost her husband Steve, and my dad lost his brother billy. Having my daughter has made me more empathetic. I was heartbroken for my auntie. Losing the love of your life is something I cannot imagine, for some reason after finding out I clung to my daughter very aware of how precious life is…how fleeting.
Uncle Billy was a HUGE part of my life. Mr. Inappropriate in every sense of the word, and I love him so much for it. His death was completely unexpected and shocking. The love I have for him even I was not aware how strong it was until I lost him.
One day I am sure she will be embarrassed by one of her many uncles. I will have to tell her that eventually she will learn to love them for their craziness, their ridiculousness, just as I learned to love Uncle Billy despite the fact that his butt crack was literally always showing.
After he died I KNEW I was going to find something completely inappropriate in his phone so I looked through it with pure caution.
I found a picture of a vagina…There is a huge lesson in this-one I cannot wait to share with my daughter, when she is old enough of course, - if it was anyone else I would have been purely disgusted, but sometimes there are people who rock your conventional mentality of the world and you love them even more for doing so…vagina pictures and all.
The juxtapostion of life and death is magnified times a million when you create life. You are also far more aware of all things wrong with the world. Daily I am scared that I brought this perfect little creature into this crazy world. I am far more invested in trying to make sure the world is better since she has to live in it.
It’s amazing though, even when I am shocked by death, by social injustice, by how scary the current state of affairs seem…just one glance in her direction cures it all because for that second, all is right with the world.