Mommy Letters to Baby!

I love you Already!

Posts tagged pregnancy

0 notes &

Seems Like Just Yesterday!

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY…
MJ’s Birth Story As Told By Auntie Claire.
I received this letter for baby MJ last night. Auntie Claire was in the delivery room with me and she literally documented every moment of my labor.  I cried hysterically as I read it. It was amazing to see my determination through her eyes.

image


A BABY IS BORN

image

Dear MJ, This is your auntie Claire. As you grow, you will learn that you have tons of family, and many, many people who love you. It might be hard to keep track of all of us because we aren’t all family in the traditional sense, but sometimes the best family are the people you choose, not just the people you’re related to. I have known your mama since she was 12 years old and I was 13. She is the sister I never had. She and I have connected in ways that some friends never do. We grew close talking about life, spirituality, love, the world we live in and the people we want to be. I hope someday you have a best friend who you can be close to in that way; it is a beautiful thing. We hold eachother accountable and are there for eachother no matter what. When your mama met your daddy, I was very protective. I wanted to make sure she would be cared for the way she deserves, and that eventually the man she chose would be a good father to the children she has always wanted. Your mama and daddy quickly fell in love and began to dream about you. Mama and I have had many, many talks about the mother she hopes to be. She has worked so hard to become the woman she needs to be to help grow and nurture you. She knows that it is no small task to bring a little human being into this crazy world and raise them to be a strong, good person. But she wants to do it, and so does your daddy. You are wanted, MJ. You were dreamed of, planned for and imagined before you even existed. When your mama found out she was carrying you on May 5th, 2011 she came to my house to make sure it was really true. When the second test said “pregnant” your mama and I shared a big, long hug. MJ, I have never felt such an immediate sense of love. You were very tiny at that time, about the size of a pea. We found out you were due January 9th, 2012. Throughout the next nine months, mama took extra care to ensure that she was creating the best environment for you to thrive and grow. It wasn’t easy. Mama felt very sick at the beginning and end, but she was so tough. When she was feeling good, we took many bike rides and walks in the summer and fall. She made sure to stay active and healthy so she would be ready to take care of you. In the final weeks before you came, she was very swollen, her blood pressure was high and she was incredibly tired. We all made fun of her big hands and feet; it was quite a sight. On Friday, December 30th, 2011, your auntie Raechell and I took mama to the doctor for a check up. Mama’s midwife Deb was not working that day, so we saw Dr. Angelats. Her blood pressure was still high, and the doctor said we should go home and pack our bags because we had to go to the hospital for more monitoring. He wanted to be sure that you and mama were safe and healthy. We got to the hospital at 8:00pm and they started to check mama’s blood pressure every 15 minutes. She was feeling sick and seeing floaties in her eyes. They sent some tests and at about 11:00pm Dr. Angelats called and said that mama would have to stay in the hospital and take medicine to start her labor so she could get you out safely before she got sicker. Mama started crying because she wanted Deb to be there to bring you into the world, and she wanted to wait for you to come on your own time. She had also been planning to give birth to you in a tub of water, but this wouldn’t be possible now that the two of you had to be monitored closely. Also, your daddy was stuck at work because he plays music for people at night! promised mama I would stay with her so she wouldn’t be alone. A very nice nurse named Ali helped tuck mama into her new bed and get ready to start the process. At midnight, Ali gave mama the first medicine to induce labor. We ordered sandwiches, watched movies and painted our nails while the medicine started to work and mama began to feel contractions at about 1:00am. At 3:00am Ali was going to give mama another dose of medicine, but her contractions were coming more often and she didn’t need to take it. Her body took over and labor was progressing. Mama finally fell asleep and snored away as her body started to get ready to give birth to you. She had contractions through the night, and I didn’t sleep much because I had to make sure she stayed on her left side to keep her blood pressure down. Another very nice nurse, Jody, came and took over for Ali. She was so sweet and cheerful, and I knew you and mama were in good hands. Dr. Angelats came in at 10:00am and was pleased with the progress mama had made. She was dilated to 1.5 centimeters and he decided to break her water, the sac that you lived and grew in, in order to speed things up. This made mama start having more contractions, and they were a lot stronger. Every 2-3 minutes mama had a contraction that lasted about 30 seconds, then she would have another one right after that, and then a few more minutes to rest until it happened all over again. One day you may learn, this is very painful. MJ, your mama was so very strong. She only cried once; I held her hands while she looked into my eyes and I told her we would get through this. She nodded her head and I knew she could do it. She was determined to be strong for you. Jill May was there with us and she and I began to give mama back, hand and foot massages to help her through the pain. She didn’t make a lot of noise, she was very focused on breathing through the pain. Jill and I would give her instructions on how to breathe and different positions to be in, and she was a very good listener. At first she was sitting on a big exercise ball, and using different positions in bed to be comfortable. The nurses didn’t want mama to walk because her blood pressure was too high. After awhile, she couldn’t move much because it was too painful. Daddy got there in the morning, too, and he started to take pictures so one day you could see what happened the day you were born. At 12:45pm Dr. Angelats checked and said mama was dilated to 3cm and 80% effaced, which means her cervix was opening and thinning to get ready for you to pass through. Pretty amazing, huh? The next few hours were very, very difficult. The contractions were coming faster, lasting longer and hurting more. Your mama remained brave and centered as she prepared for your arrival. At about 2:00pm she started throwing up in between contractions. This was the worst part, because she couldn’t get a rest! She had been doing all of this hard work with no medicine because she wanted to be able to tell you that she did it all on her own. However, it is dangerous to get too exhausted during labor, and she still needed to be able to push you out when the time came. At about 3:00pm we decided it was time for mom to get an IV because she was getting dehydrated and she wanted to try some medicine to help her stop throwing up and treat the pain. She was so swollen that it was hard for the nurses to find a vein and she had to get poked two times! She didn’t even flinch! The medicine didn’t work and mama was absolutely miserable. After every contraction she was wretching; she had to sit up in bed with a bucket, then clean up, lay down for a contraction and do it all over again. This was taking a lot of energy and we were worried because mama needed to save all of her strength to be able to push you out when it was time. At 3:45 mama finally decided to get an epidural to help reduce the pain and vomiting in order to get some rest for the very hard part that was yet to come. Mama said she wanted me in the room because I am a nurse and I wouldn’t get scared about the big needle like daddy would. I actually knew Dr. Murray, the lady who came to give mama the epidural, so I was sure she was in good hands yet again. They had to put a really big needle in mama’s back for the medicine while she sat completely still. She remained very brave. Right when this was done, Deb, mama’s midwife, walked in! We were all so excited to see her. Dr. Angelats checked and said that mama was dilated to 6cm and 90% effaced. Mama was starting to feel better, so we got her teeth brushed, braided her hair and lotioned up her legs and feet so she could relax. Deb kicked everyone out of the room so she could have some time with mama and be sure she was prepared to bring you safely into the world. She checked to make sure you were in the right position in mama’s tummy and did some maneuvering to get you and mama ready. Mama finally got a nap and woke up at about 5:30. Deb said she was dilated to 9cm and it wouldn’t be much longer until she was ready. We made a “push-it mix” full of songs that would motivate mama to push you out! At 6:00pm Deb walked in, checked again and said mama was at 10cm. “Are you ready to have this baby?” she asked. Everyone was so excited. Deb, mama and daddy had been together through this whole journey, and it meant so much to everyone that she would be there to ensure your safe arrival. Deb had a pep talk with mama to get her to focus before starting to push. Pushing is very challenging, and mama had to be mentally prepared for all the hard work she was about to do. Mama placed all of her trust in Deb, and promised that she would listen closely and follow her instructions. Daddy, Grandma Kathy, Grandma Judith and I stayed in the room while Raechell, Jill, Mama Missy, Grandpa Marcus and Sammy sat patiently in the waiting room. At 6:15pm mama started to push. At first, it was very hard to understand what muscles to use to get you out! Mama was trying so hard but you weren’t moving very much. We would get a quick peek of the top of your head, then you would slide back in like a little turtle. Deb played a joke on mama and said, “Oh my gosh she has blonde hair just like me!” and mama said, “Really?!?!” We all got a good laugh out of that. Deb wanted to help mama understand how to push effectively, so she handed mom a towel, got on the bed and started to play tug of war with her. Daddy was worried about Deb flying backwards if mama let go of the towel so he had me stand behind her just in case. Jody was holding one of mama’s legs and daddy was holding the other. This technique really helped mama get the hang of it and she started to get you closer and closer to coming out. It took so much energy, love and focus to get you there. MJ, your mama was an absolute champion. I have never seen her so determined. She had to breathe through an oxygen mask because it was very exhausting, but she kept pulling the mask off between pushes to tell us how much she wanted to meet you. Someone brought in a mirror so mama could see what was happening and know how close she was to pushing you out! I accidentally stepped in front of the mirror once and mama was not a happy camper. But you know what, she never yelled at anyone, never screamed in pain, never complained. Some women get really mean during labor, make a lot of noise and have a really terrible time. Your mama was quiet and loving. She had to grunt a few times to help muster the strength to push, but all of her strength came from within. Ali the nurse got there at 7:00pm, so she was in the room to help as well. On the one hour mark, mama had your head all the way out. All of a sudden daddy started to look sick and began to wobble on his feet. Jody said, “Uh oh, Dad’s going down!” and Deb yelled, “Slim sit on the ground!” I grabbed mama’s leg and mama was so worried about daddy that she lost focus and stopped pushing for a moment. At this point Deb announced that your shoulder was stuck and your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. She began trying to position you so she could get you out quickly. She got mama to start pushing again and with her pushing and Deb pulling, you made your grand entrance at 7:18pm, December 31, 2011 after 63 minutes of pushing. Your head was blue and your body was white, so we all held our breath for a scary few seconds until you finally let out a loud cry as they laid you on mama’s chest. Then we all started crying. It was a beautiful moment. Grandma Kathy and Grandma Judy were fanning daddy and we were pouring water and juice in his mouth, but he looked very relieved once he realized you were okay. Mama quickly told the nurses to make sure you were really a girl, which they confirmed. After spending a few minutes with her, they brought you to the warmer to be weighed and measured. I had the closest guess! You were 7lbs10oz, 20in, and I guessed 7lbs11oz, 20in. Everyone in the room began to pass you around and marvel at the miracle you are. Mama was working on delivering the placenta, the sac that supplied you nutrients and blood while you were in her tummy. She had to stand on the bed like a sumo wrestler to get it out, that was almost as hard as pushing you out! Pretty soon you were back in mama’s arms, starting to breastfeed like a pro. She was phenomenal MJ; your mother is an incredibly strong woman and you will learn so much from her. She and your daddy are committed to being the best parents they can be, and you are so blessed to be theirs. They are just as blessed by your arrival, and the look in their eyes revealed their understanding. As you nursed, mama relaxed and held you close, overwhelmed by the events of the last19 hours. Daddy was right there, too, and finally you were all a family.

I love you, and I will always be here for you.
Your Auntie Bear

image

Vote For Us @ TopBaby Blogs! The Best Baby Blog Directory

Filed under a baby story baby's first birthday birth birth story preeclampsia pregnancy mumblr

2 notes &

MJ’s Birth Story As Told By Auntie Claire.

I received this letter for baby MJ last night. Auntie Claire was in the delivery room with me and she literally documented every moment of my labor.  I cried hysterically as I read it. It was amazing to see my determination through her eyes.

A BABY IS BORN
Dear MJ, This is your auntie Claire. As you grow, you will learn that you have tons of family, and many, many people who love you. It might be hard to keep track of all of us because we aren’t all family in the traditional sense, but sometimes the best family are the people you choose, not just the people you’re related to. I have known your mama since she was 12 years old and I was 13. She is the sister I never had. She and I have connected in ways that some friends never do. We grew close talking about life, spirituality, love, the world we live in and the people we want to be. I hope someday you have a best friend who you can be close to in that way; it is a beautiful thing. We hold eachother accountable and are there for eachother no matter what. When your mama met your daddy, I was very protective. I wanted to make sure she would be cared for the way she deserves, and that eventually the man she chose would be a good father to the children she has always wanted. Your mama and daddy quickly fell in love and began to dream about you. Mama and I have had many, many talks about the mother she hopes to be. She has worked so hard to become the woman she needs to be to help grow and nurture you. She knows that it is no small task to bring a little human being into this crazy world and raise them to be a strong, good person. But she wants to do it, and so does your daddy. You are wanted, MJ. You were dreamed of, planned for and imagined before you even existed. When your mama found out she was carrying you on May 5th, 2011 she came to my house to make sure it was really true. When the second test said “pregnant” your mama and I shared a big, long hug. MJ, I have never felt such an immediate sense of love. You were very tiny at that time, about the size of a pea. We found out you were due January 9th, 2012. Throughout the next nine months, mama took extra care to ensure that she was creating the best environment for you to thrive and grow. It wasn’t easy. Mama felt very sick at the beginning and end, but she was so tough. When she was feeling good, we took many bike rides and walks in the summer and fall. She made sure to stay active and healthy so she would be ready to take care of you. In the final weeks before you came, she was very swollen, her blood pressure was high and she was incredibly tired. We all made fun of her big hands and feet; it was quite a sight. On Friday, December 30th, 2011, your auntie Raechell and I took mama to the doctor for a check up. Mama’s midwife Deb was not working that day, so we saw Dr. Angelats. Her blood pressure was still high, and the doctor said we should go home and pack our bags because we had to go to the hospital for more monitoring. He wanted to be sure that you and mama were safe and healthy. We got to the hospital at 8:00pm and they started to check mama’s blood pressure every 15 minutes. She was feeling sick and seeing floaties in her eyes. They sent some tests and at about 11:00pm Dr. Angelats called and said that mama would have to stay in the hospital and take medicine to start her labor so she could get you out safely before she got sicker. Mama started crying because she wanted Deb to be there to bring you into the world, and she wanted to wait for you to come on your own time. She had also been planning to give birth to you in a tub of water, but this wouldn’t be possible now that the two of you had to be monitored closely. Also, your daddy was stuck at work because he plays music for people at night! promised mama I would stay with her so she wouldn’t be alone. A very nice nurse named Ali helped tuck mama into her new bed and get ready to start the process. At midnight, Ali gave mama the first medicine to induce labor. We ordered sandwiches, watched movies and painted our nails while the medicine started to work and mama began to feel contractions at about 1:00am. At 3:00am Ali was going to give mama another dose of medicine, but her contractions were coming more often and she didn’t need to take it. Her body took over and labor was progressing. Mama finally fell asleep and snored away as her body started to get ready to give birth to you. She had contractions through the night, and I didn’t sleep much because I had to make sure she stayed on her left side to keep her blood pressure down. Another very nice nurse, Jody, came and took over for Ali. She was so sweet and cheerful, and I knew you and mama were in good hands. Dr. Angelats came in at 10:00am and was pleased with the progress mama had made. She was dilated to 1.5 centimeters and he decided to break her water, the sac that you lived and grew in, in order to speed things up. This made mama start having more contractions, and they were a lot stronger. Every 2-3 minutes mama had a contraction that lasted about 30 seconds, then she would have another one right after that, and then a few more minutes to rest until it happened all over again. One day you may learn, this is very painful. MJ, your mama was so very strong. She only cried once; I held her hands while she looked into my eyes and I told her we would get through this. She nodded her head and I knew she could do it. She was determined to be strong for you. Jill May was there with us and she and I began to give mama back, hand and foot massages to help her through the pain. She didn’t make a lot of noise, she was very focused on breathing through the pain. Jill and I would give her instructions on how to breathe and different positions to be in, and she was a very good listener. At first she was sitting on a big exercise ball, and using different positions in bed to be comfortable. The nurses didn’t want mama to walk because her blood pressure was too high. After awhile, she couldn’t move much because it was too painful. Daddy got there in the morning, too, and he started to take pictures so one day you could see what happened the day you were born. At 12:45pm Dr. Angelats checked and said mama was dilated to 3cm and 80% effaced, which means her cervix was opening and thinning to get ready for you to pass through. Pretty amazing, huh? The next few hours were very, very difficult. The contractions were coming faster, lasting longer and hurting more. Your mama remained brave and centered as she prepared for your arrival. At about 2:00pm she started throwing up in between contractions. This was the worst part, because she couldn’t get a rest! She had been doing all of this hard work with no medicine because she wanted to be able to tell you that she did it all on her own. However, it is dangerous to get too exhausted during labor, and she still needed to be able to push you out when the time came. At about 3:00pm we decided it was time for mom to get an IV because she was getting dehydrated and she wanted to try some medicine to help her stop throwing up and treat the pain. She was so swollen that it was hard for the nurses to find a vein and she had to get poked two times! She didn’t even flinch! The medicine didn’t work and mama was absolutely miserable. After every contraction she was wretching; she had to sit up in bed with a bucket, then clean up, lay down for a contraction and do it all over again. This was taking a lot of energy and we were worried because mama needed to save all of her strength to be able to push you out when it was time. At 3:45 mama finally decided to get an epidural to help reduce the pain and vomiting in order to get some rest for the very hard part that was yet to come. Mama said she wanted me in the room because I am a nurse and I wouldn’t get scared about the big needle like daddy would. I actually knew Dr. Murray, the lady who came to give mama the epidural, so I was sure she was in good hands yet again. They had to put a really big needle in mama’s back for the medicine while she sat completely still. She remained very brave. Right when this was done, Deb, mama’s midwife, walked in! We were all so excited to see her. Dr. Angelats checked and said that mama was dilated to 6cm and 90% effaced. Mama was starting to feel better, so we got her teeth brushed, braided her hair and lotioned up her legs and feet so she could relax. Deb kicked everyone out of the room so she could have some time with mama and be sure she was prepared to bring you safely into the world. She checked to make sure you were in the right position in mama’s tummy and did some maneuvering to get you and mama ready. Mama finally got a nap and woke up at about 5:30. Deb said she was dilated to 9cm and it wouldn’t be much longer until she was ready. We made a “push-it mix” full of songs that would motivate mama to push you out! At 6:00pm Deb walked in, checked again and said mama was at 10cm. “Are you ready to have this baby?” she asked. Everyone was so excited. Deb, mama and daddy had been together through this whole journey, and it meant so much to everyone that she would be there to ensure your safe arrival. Deb had a pep talk with mama to get her to focus before starting to push. Pushing is very challenging, and mama had to be mentally prepared for all the hard work she was about to do. Mama placed all of her trust in Deb, and promised that she would listen closely and follow her instructions. Daddy, Grandma Kathy, Grandma Judith and I stayed in the room while Raechell, Jill, Mama Missy, Grandpa Marcus and Sammy sat patiently in the waiting room. At 6:15pm mama started to push. At first, it was very hard to understand what muscles to use to get you out! Mama was trying so hard but you weren’t moving very much. We would get a quick peek of the top of your head, then you would slide back in like a little turtle. Deb played a joke on mama and said, “Oh my gosh she has blonde hair just like me!” and mama said, “Really?!?!” We all got a good laugh out of that. Deb wanted to help mama understand how to push effectively, so she handed mom a towel, got on the bed and started to play tug of war with her. Daddy was worried about Deb flying backwards if mama let go of the towel so he had me stand behind her just in case. Jody was holding one of mama’s legs and daddy was holding the other. This technique really helped mama get the hang of it and she started to get you closer and closer to coming out. It took so much energy, love and focus to get you there. MJ, your mama was an absolute champion. I have never seen her so determined. She had to breathe through an oxygen mask because it was very exhausting, but she kept pulling the mask off between pushes to tell us how much she wanted to meet you. Someone brought in a mirror so mama could see what was happening and know how close she was to pushing you out! I accidentally stepped in front of the mirror once and mama was not a happy camper. But you know what, she never yelled at anyone, never screamed in pain, never complained. Some women get really mean during labor, make a lot of noise and have a really terrible time. Your mama was quiet and loving. She had to grunt a few times to help muster the strength to push, but all of her strength came from within. Ali the nurse got there at 7:00pm, so she was in the room to help as well. On the one hour mark, mama had your head all the way out. All of a sudden daddy started to look sick and began to wobble on his feet. Jody said, “Uh oh, Dad’s going down!” and Deb yelled, “Slim sit on the ground!” I grabbed mama’s leg and mama was so worried about daddy that she lost focus and stopped pushing for a moment. At this point Deb announced that your shoulder was stuck and your umbilical cord was wrapped around your neck. She began trying to position you so she could get you out quickly. She got mama to start pushing again and with her pushing and Deb pulling, you made your grand entrance at 7:18pm, December 31, 2011 after 63 minutes of pushing. Your head was blue and your body was white, so we all held our breath for a scary few seconds until you finally let out a loud cry as they laid you on mama’s chest. Then we all started crying. It was a beautiful moment. Grandma Kathy and Grandma Judy were fanning daddy and we were pouring water and juice in his mouth, but he looked very relieved once he realized you were okay. Mama quickly told the nurses to make sure you were really a girl, which they confirmed. After spending a few minutes with her, they brought you to the warmer to be weighed and measured. I had the closest guess! You were 7lbs10oz, 20in, and I guessed 7lbs11oz, 20in. Everyone in the room began to pass you around and marvel at the miracle you are. Mama was working on delivering the placenta, the sac that supplied you nutrients and blood while you were in her tummy. She had to stand on the bed like a sumo wrestler to get it out, that was almost as hard as pushing you out! Pretty soon you were back in mama’s arms, starting to breastfeed like a pro. She was phenomenal MJ; your mother is an incredibly strong woman and you will learn so much from her. She and your daddy are committed to being the best parents they can be, and you are so blessed to be theirs. They are just as blessed by your arrival, and the look in their eyes revealed their understanding. As you nursed, mama relaxed and held you close, overwhelmed by the events of the last19 hours. Daddy was right there, too, and finally you were all a family.

I love you, and I will always be here for you.
Your Auntie Bear

Filed under pregnancy

0 notes &

Growing A Baby…

Growing a baby is perplexing!

Growing a baby has been the most amazing thing that I have ever done, it has also been the hardest.  I feel like I can do anything now. I have gained this feeling of empowerment and it’s unlike anything I have ever experienced before.

It’s shocking how fast it has all gone.  I still remember the day I found out I was pregnant.  The emotions that I felt. The excitement, the fear.  I remember how hard it was to keep it a secret for 3 months. 

Now here I am days away from meeting someone who will be half of me and I am overwhelmed with love and anxiety. 

She’s coming!!!! WOW! I can’t wait to tell her that I loved her before I even knew her or met her.  To show her how I tried so hard to document my pregnancy so that she could know the entire story of her existence.  To me, it is the most beautiful story of all time!

Over the last 9 and a half months I have fallen in love with this little person inside of me and I have celebrated her and our new family from the beginning-I literally threw a party for every occasion!

We had a baby reveal party!

We had a diaper party!

We had more Broad Squad Baby Bump parties than I can even count!

I celebrated my baby bump weekly with my Evolution of Baby Photos!

I have documented Callie’s love for her!

And of course the baby showers!

From the day we knew she was coming, she has been celebrated.  Already she has brought such joy to our lives. 

This has been the happiest time of my life! I love how excited everyone is to meet her.  I love how I have watched my husband morph into a father.

I cannot wait until the biggest celebration of all-the day she makes her debut into the world.

I am trying my hardest to be patient…but in the meantime I think I should throw a waiting for Baby MJ party :) why not?!

Filed under pregnancy

0 notes &

Pregnancy Coming to an End!

The holidays are here and they allow for an amazing distraction. It really is hard to be distracted by anything when you are pregnant. For months my thoughts, emotions and feelings have completely centered around this beautiful little being growing inside of me…and I have loved every minute of it.

The last few weeks are here! We get to meet our daughter soooo soon! It seems like there is so much to do and I am so tired that I am struggling to get it all done, but I know somehow I will.

Slimmy and I have bonded in a way that only a child could be responsible for.  There are no words to describe it, I just feel it and it is amazing. I am proud of our solidarity in this new and challenging journey.

We finished our last birthing class and we are both glad they are over. Yes we learned a lot but sometimes too much knowledge allows for too much worrying.

We have begun talking about our birthing plan and honestly plan is too strong of a word because we aren’t really big on planning, but there are a few things we hope for.

Slimmy’s making me a birthing soundtrack. Music is such a huge part of our life that it only seems fitting.

We have decided that we will try very hard to avoid the epidural.  We are not opposed to it, and if we need it we will ask…wait what the hell am I talking about we LOL…IF I NEED IT, I WILL ASK, but I would like not to.

If everything works as planned, we will be having a water birth (another reason why I can’t have an epidural). Water has been the most comforting force in my most uncomfortable moments of this pregnancy and we have agreed that this sounds like a logical option for us.

According to our midwife DEB, now is the time to get our hospital bag in order, and we must buy each other push presents…which is kind of funny since I am the only one who will be pushing LOL.  Slim has been my rock though and he does deserve a present.

I can’t believe the end is almost here. I can see it! I definitely can feel it! WOW! This process has changed me immensely and I am in love with the new me, the person this little girl has helped me become!

I am scared a little bit too, but in a good way! I am so many things it’s hard to keep track!

In just a few short weeks I will do the hardest thing that I’ve ever done…but I will also be rewarded in a way like never before…SO WORTH IT!

Filed under pregnancy

3 notes &

The Countdown is On!

I am in love with the nursery, it is a true sanctuary! A beautiful place full of love. It took a lot of hard work to create it and I am more than thrilled with the outcome. I spend a lot of time in there just looking.

Today I walked into the nursery and glanced at the digital baby countdown clock (Yes, I really have one) and I was shocked! 61 days! WOW!

Time is insane, the last eight months have flown by and in 61 days, give or take 3 weeks early or ten days late, my little baby girl will be here!

Right now I am surrounded by all the fun stuff.  Baby showers and nesting…I am having a blast preparing for her.

We took our first birthing class…Slim is a real trooper! The class isn’t fun by any means.  we were overloaded with information, all of which I am sure I will NOT remember. 

Between the pregnancy forgetfulness and pushing a baby out of my vagina, I think it is safe to assume that the rolodex of information acquired might not be exactly what I am thinking of.

Slim makes me laugh.  While I am worried about things like color coordinating the nursery he is fixing everything in the house, making sure it’s warm enough in our bedroom for her and putting in sooooooooooo many hours at work…I guess he is nesting too.

He keeps me balanced. The birth coach told us to find a rhythm while breathing.  As I tried vigorously to get down the breathing sequence, Slim looked at me dead serious and said, “Well this is clearly gonna be a problem.”  “Why?” I asked.  “Because you don’t have rhythm baby.” we both got a good laugh out of that.

We remain united which is difficult.  Between my horrific mood swings and his rigorous work schedule, we could easily fall apart.  I guess we just understand what we are doing this for…WHO WE ARE DOING THIS FOR.

The anticipation is horrible! I am trying to be patient but…I just want to love her up. I want to see my husband love her up.

I seriously can’t wait until she arrives.  61 days isn’t that long :)

Filed under pregnancy

0 notes &

My Midwife Doesn’t Tolerate Wimps in the Delivery Room

With the countdown to Baby MJ making her way into the world now officially at less than ten weeks, thoughts of the actual delivery are becoming very common.

I’ve been trying to think of names for the beautiful event but nothing seems fitting…

Operation Vaginal Destruction- has a good ring to it, but seems a bit harsh for such an amazing moment.

V-DAY- I kinda like but still not perfect. 

Vajay Day- sounds so much like something I would say but still I’m not sure if it is just right either.

The Great Expandable Vagina Mission-hmmmmm…not quite.

Well whatever I decide to call the big day, the fact of the matter is it is certainly rapidly approaching. 

I have to admit, I wasn’t all that scared or even nervous. My reality is simple.  There’s a baby inside of me and I HAVE TO GET HER OUT.

Once I accepted that, I felt comfortable…until my midwife looked me in the face and uttered this sentence, “Just so we are clear, I don’t tolerate wimps in the delivery room.”

Well damn! Now I would never consider myself a wimp. I’m tough, being raised with 5 boys will give you thick skin, but then again…I have never had a baby.

I guess I should have asked her to clarify. What exactly does that mean Deb? Because I don’t plan on punking out or anything but I need to at least have an idea of the standards LOL.

I was doing so good…now all I can think about is the big day! All I know is this, she may not tolerate wimps, but I’m not above pretending a contraction is so bad that I accidentally smack her :)

I mean that could be funny right?

Filed under pregnancy

1 note &

Doctor Appointments Prove Daddy is a Ladies Man

Going to the baby doctor is something that I actually look forward to. As we are approaching the end of her journey in my tummy they have gone from every four weeks to every two weeks.

Slim hasn’t missed one appointment yet. He loves to hear the sound of Baby MJ’s heartbeat but besides that, it is clear that Slim has taken a liking to our midwife Deb.

I can’t really blame him. Deb is awesome.  She’s hilarious, cute and her and Slimmy get along great.

After she tosses me the usual information on what to expect between appointments, she always spends a little time giving Slim some attention so that he doesn’t feel left out.

At our latest appointment I learned that I need to pay attention to fetal movements, was asked about pre-registering at the hospital and discussed birthing classes.  Once we got all the important business out of the way, Deb’s attention shifted to Slim.

“Slim, I see you sitting there patiently, do you have any questions for me today.”

My husband wasted no time, “Well, actually Deb, I was curious to know why they call them grasshoppers if they can clearly hop on cement as well.  Also, how does Jason (Vorhees) catch people when all he does is walk really fast.”

If this was the first time something like this happened, I would probably be embarrassed, but this has kind of become their thing.  He asks her ridiculous questions and she, for whatever reason, humors him.

On the bright side at least he feels comfortable with her…after all in a few short weeks she will play a very vital role in a very intimate part of our life.

My husband makes me laugh! He has a way with the ladies. You can’t help but like him. He is charming, funny and he is a really good person. All of my friends love him and all of the older women in my life have huge crushes on him.

Yes, Daddy is a ladies man, but that’s good for me and Baby girl.  He knows how to make a girl smile, laugh and is awesome at wiping tears. 

We’ve got it pretty good. My husband makes me feel special, he also treats my friends amazingly and I just know that Baby MJ and all her little girlfriends are just gonna love him.

On our way out of the office after our doctor’s appointment, Slim turned to Deb and smiled, “Deb, say this thing between me and her doesn’t work out…” Deb quickly interrupted him, “OF COURSE SLIM!”

My husband knows how to make women feel good! Our midwife was beaming as she walked down the hall.  Honestly this woman is responsible for keeping my vagina intact…he better keep her smiling :)

Filed under pregnancy

4 notes &

Embracing The Belly Comes Easy To Me!

I have loved every moment of this pregnancy. Even when I was sick for 24 hours straight I loved the fact that there was a life inside of me. I am doing something amazing and it makes me happy.

I know that pregnancy is different for every woman, but I genuinely feel bad for the women who do not feel beautiful, or hide their new curves under overgrown T shirts and sweat pants.

I am as big as I have ever been and I couldn’t feel more beautiful.  In fact, this is the most beautiful I have ever felt.  I decided early on that I would embrace my ever changing body and would feel beautiful through it all.

How could creating life not be beautiful? Sure I am wearing jeans with elastic waist bands and I haven’t worn a pair of heels in over 7 months but damn…I still feel amazing.

This belly is so beautiful and I am so proud of it. It screams to the entire world, “YES, THERE IS A BABY IN THERE AND I HELPED MAKE HER!”

I did pregnancy photos that I thought were classy, sexy and wonderful.  Not everyone felt the same way but who cares.  In all my life I have never been confident enough to bare so much of myself and be photographed.  Now here I am, ginormous belly, retaining water and I feel stunning.

So yes, I am going to show my belly off! I am in love with it! I catch myself watching my daughter move and I am still amazed.

What I have noticed is that people reciprocate the vibe you put off. If you are all, “oh, I’m fat and miserable,” Nobody is going to tell you how wonderful and amazing you are. 

Everyday I wake up and I am just so excited that I am a day closer to meeting my baby girl and I feel like I am walking on sunshine. Sometimes I am limping on sunshine because my hips are spreading, but I digress.

People can see that I am unbelievably happy, I radiate positivity and everywhere I go people throw it right back at me. They congratulate, ask about my pregnancy, what I am having…they are excited too.

I have completely embraced the belly and WOW is it an amazing experience!

Who would have thought that it wouldn’t be a man or even me that would make me feel the most beautiful that I have ever felt…who would have ever thought that it would be her, my daughter!

Filed under pregnancy

5 notes &

Callie Loves Baby MJ TOO!

Callie is fully aware that something is up with her mommy! She has been spending an obscene amount of time on my belly.

I had no idea how much I would love Callie. I know that some people’s cats do absolutely nothing, but that’s not my Callie cat! I swear we have the same personality.

When I got pregnant I knew it would affect me and obviously Slimmy, but I had no idea that Callie would change right along with us.

She is beyond attentive and on my worst pregnant days she seems to understand what’s going on and she cuddles and loves me up.

She used to only cuddle for short periods of time, but the other night as I lay crying during one of  the very few pregnant breakdowns I’ve had, Callie did not leave my side. She laid on my chest with her paws resting on my cheeks and stayed there until Slimmy came home from work.

Animals are amazing. I love the fact that Baby MJ will grow up with Callie. We always had animals and I loved it.

The best part about Callie is that she got Slim to fall in love with her. Before we got her he told me repeatedly, “That’s YOUR cat Danielle.” but he’s a sucker for her now. She’s got him so in love with her it makes me laugh.

He spends a lot of time with her, holding her, picking her up, talking to her…I finally realized that he was practicing.  Soon he will be a daddy to a little baby girl, but I have a feeling Callie will always hold a special place in his heart.

Our little family is growing and it makes me so happy I can barely stand it! I can’t wait until we bring our baby home and Callie looks at us like, who the hell is that?!

I know she will love up Baby MJ just like she has us!

Filed under pregnancy

10 notes &

This Roller Coaster Ride Called Pregnancy

I am on a roller coaster ride. It began seven months ago. Most days the ride is beautiful, thrilling, exhilarating and even though I am holding on for dear life, I can’t help but smile because it’s a ride I have never been on.

Other days the roller coaster is out of control, I can barely hold on, I am scared to death, overwhelmed, and feel bad for my husband who can get the wrath of it all at any given moment.

There are a few things I have learned while on this ride.

Everybody has an opinion and something to say. -Some are trying to be helpful, others are just plain rude and ridiculous. I take it all in though, I cypher through all the information I am inundated with and I hold on to what I find most valuable to me and my situation.

No two pregnancies are the same.-It’s great that you didn’t have a day of morning sickness, that is amazing for you, but I spent three months straight with my head in a toilet bowl, a bucket next to the bed or a bag while driving on the freeway. You lucked out, I didn’t. The same goes for stretch marks. Just because you got a million or zero doesn’t mean I should expect the same. NO TWO PREGNANCIES ARE THE SAME.

The wait is agonizing.-At this point I know she shouldn’t come out right now, but God do I want to meet her, hold her, love her up like crazy. I love her so much and waiting for her is extremely difficult.

Women who do this alone are incredible.-I live with superman. He saves the day often and even when he annoys me or doesn’t say the right thing, he’s here to pick up the pieces when they all come crashing down in some crazy hormonal rage. I see women do this all alone, I watched my mom do this all alone and I never realized how amazing they were. I have an ally in this, and I am so thankful for that, but I envy and appreciate these fantastic women who did it all by themselves.

I am sure that I will continue to learn as the days go by and I embrace that because there is so much I don’t know. 

As we get closer to her arrival I think about the actual delivery and I realize I have heard so many opinions on what I should do that at this point the only thing I am sure of is that I am not sure of anything. Will I take meds? maybe. Will I want people in the room? Not sure.  What I have decided is what’s best for me and that is to NOT have a plan of action. 

A plan of action is great until it goes awry and then panic sets in because it’s not how you planned.  So I will decide as I go. If I want meds I will get them, if not I won’t. If I need my mommy I will call on her and if not she will be patiently waiting outside to meet her granddaughter.

The roller coaster moves so quickly and I am scared that I am going to miss something, forget something, but then I realize…Eventually it stops! So for right now, I will enjoy this beautiful, horrifying ride.

Filed under pregnancy